A couple of decades ago, there was no talk of maternal burnout at all, and the phrase “postpartum depression” was familiar only to a narrow circle of medical specialists, and for ordinary people, it was synonymous with laziness and parasitic personality tendencies. Mom should have been happy with her new happy status and admired pink heels and fragrant ass all day long. But sometimes it was allowed to be a little tired, sleepy (and what did you want, did we manage somehow?).
Today we already know for sure that mothers burn out from motherhood, like from any other job, and only completely ignorant people deny this fact. But our information about this phenomenon is still fragmentary and incomplete.
Why do mothers of babies burn out?
Experts have already learned how to find answers to this question. Doctors deal with the problem even when things have gone too far. But in society, talk about the dark side of motherhood is still quite taboo. There are special groups where you can express your negative feelings, and you will be understood. This is done because many, instead of sympathy, are ready to pounce on a losing mother with reproaches: what did you expect?
Of course, you can expect anything. But it is one thing to READ about semolina spread on the table, and another thing to SEE a recently wiped table, evenly covered with a thin layer of semolina. So is the child. So is the floor. So is the chair. So does the dog.
It is one thing to KNOW about the manner of babies to create traps from the Lego constructor. And another – at full gallop to PLEASE into this trap, and yell like a wounded mammoth. It’s one thing to SUPPOSE that the fairy tale “Ryaba Hen” will need to be read 200 times. And the other is to READ it 200 times. No one will ever be ready for motherhood in advance. We just have to react and make our tasks as easy as possible so as not to burn out ahead of time, that’s all. And if this process, despite all the precautions, has nevertheless begun – run to the specialists.
Okay, we figured out the kids. Why do mothers of first graders burn out?
And the mothers of children, who are second or third grade, by the way, too? What’s wrong with them?
It would seem that the era of soiled pants and hellish lack of sleep is over. It would seem that “Ryaba Chicken” is no longer scary, and only sometimes comes in a dream. And even a table, evenly covered with a thin layer of porridge, no longer threatens our peace of mind. But it is at this time when the child can no longer bring the parent to the handle on his own so effectively, that the school picks up the baton.
I know that my peers who do not yet have schoolchildren will start protesting now. They will say that they did an excellent job on their own, what to do there, to take out sticks and hooks for a year? However, those who are in the game are already aware that the school is different now. And primary classes are such a special time when children are given tasks of increased complexity that they are unable to complete on their own.
Well, a child of 6-7-8 years old CANNOT independently sew a full-fledged costume of a stuffed beaver. To compose a small scientific report on 20 sheets, printed on a computer. Glue a life-size model of Saratov from cones and mushrooms.
Children of this age do not write books, do not make films, do not bake cakes. And I don’t understand why they should carry 20 types of cereals to school. I believe that we, mothers, are to blame for this outrage ourselves. We agreed to this. We allowed it. We swallowed it and pretended that everything was fine. And now you can’t turn the minced meat back, and the situation is getting worse every day.
Once ideological opponents, let’s say, asked me what I would say when in The Hague I was tried for the crimes of feminofascism? So, I am personally going to say to the whole world in my last word so that schools would shove their stupid assignments for first graders … Well, I won’t, I won’t.
By the way, I don’t know what to advise either. Bringing a child who was hurt back The only option is to involve other family members.
Why do teen moms burn out?
Here for many, it is not clear at all. Behind the night lack of sleep, the horrors of lactation, the difficulties of the first steps. It is no longer necessary for a first grader to pick out cones from the frozen December earth and glue a rocket model. So what should a parent do next to a mustachioed, sexually mature boy, or with a rounded girl-bride? Know, remind only to protect yourself and not enter into immoral relationships. If it’s really boring, you can try to find cigarettes in your bag.
But, normal parents, who have not lost contact with the child until this time and have taught themselves not to talk to their children in a commanding and directive tone, begin to get hot. This is the period of the strongest emotions, the growth of the most sinister complexes, the most traumatic experiences. And no matter how tired the mother is, no matter how busy she is with her projects, it is impossible to leave the child in such a state. You need to be around.
Well, why do mothers burn out? I think this is because the standards of raising children of any age in our country have only been increasing in recent years. The length of childhood is increasing. And mothers are not getting more helpers.